Joke of the Day

This is the joke G told us this morning at 6:40 am.............

What did the 0 say to the 8????

NICE BELT!

Have a good day.....

WHAT? Speak up!!!!

This is what I have heard today........"What?"........."Can you speak?".........."Are you OK?"......or people have been politely smiling at me. I have laryngitis and cannot speak! Its great until your business phone rings and your husband has to answer it, OR your kids are doing something wrong you are trying to correct them, OR your dad calls you with Girl Scout Cookie orders from his work and you need to respond, OR you have lunch with your friends in a loud restaurant (It is Taco Tuesday at Rosas), OR you want to try on some new CUTE sunglasses and need help because they were in a glass case........and a whole list of other things! Very frustrating!

I have gotten lots of advice: gargle with salt water, rest, dont try to talk, drink tea with lots of honey and lemon, drink a hot toddy or two or three (whatever it takes...I was told), have cough drops.

Lets hope the voice fairy comes by tonight and drops mine off! I need it!

You Know You're A Grown Up When...........

.....you make an appointment to get your teeth cleaned without anyone having to remind you.

.....strangers compliment your best friend on her new haircut and you don't feel the overwhelming urge to race out and get your own hair styled the same way.

.....you aren't embarrassed to admit you still like Motley Crue.

.....it has finally registered that snooping around on your husband's computer---whether it be checking his history or reading his email---will never make you feel better, but only cause trouble.

.....you remember to change your sheets before you can't remember when you last changed them.

.....you realize that sometimes it really is better to say nothing at all if you can't say something nice.

.....even though you have a great behind, and can rock a pair of low rise jeans like nobody's business, you have embraced the truth that butt cleavage is a big mistake for anyone over...well, for anyone, actually.

.....your sister/boss/bff is in a lousy mood and you let her ride it out, rather than trying to jolly her out of it.

.....you buy yourself an overpriced pair of boots, a weekend in San Francisco, or a new puppy---just because you can.

****This was COPIED out of Redbook Feb 08...page 188*** I just liked it!

You should try it...........

Those of you that grew up listening to the GoGos song "Our Lips Are Sealed" that is on my playlist.......try this.........
Turn it up as loud as your computer will let you and see the reaction from your kids. I just did it and before it started I told them that I used to listen to that song when I was a little older than Jill. They all got up from the breakfast table and started dancing! SO HILARIOUS!

DATE NIGHT!

J and I had a date last night. I have wanted to see "27 Dresses" since it came out, so......Friday I said "We should have Date Night tomorrow night and you can take me to see that movie"........J knew what movie it was...he was not thrilled.....but called a sitter anyway! We left here thinking that we could eat at Outback before the movie.....WRONG! So we had to go to the mall because we had about an hour before the movie----I tried on some dresses (did not love either of them enough to buy them) and went to VS to get some new undergarments (none I liked in my size), SO...........after the unsuccessful shopping trip, we were off to the movie.

I liked it, J could have cared less. His comment for the movie is "it was not as bad as Kate and Leopold".....I drug him to that one a very long time ago. I barely even remember it. It is definitely a "CHICK FLICK".........there were other people on dates in there, but mostly it was girls! (On a side note.....a few girlfriends and I were going to go see it last Sunday, but by the time church was over and children were fed and situated........we missed it.)

After the movie, we went to Outback and ate. It was great.......we did not have to wait (probably since it was 9:10 pm) and ordered one of my favorite things as an appetizer.....artichoke and spinach dip! We split an entree, since it was after 9:00 and all......then real life hit and we remembered that we had to go to Wal-Mart for a few things before heading back home.
BACK TO LIFE........BACK TO REALITY........sounds like a song, doesn't it!!??

Lady's Latest Article.....appears 1/26/08 in the Abilene Reporter

Long overdue closet cleaning unearths delightful memories

I quit making New Year's resolutions years ago; they were always the same. Get in shape. Get organized. I never did either.
When my husband said Twiggy was too skinny, and a friend observed the cemetery was all about organization, that was enough for me!
Now, as friends are buying shelving and plastic tubs for organizing and/or sweating at the gym while starving, I'm reading, drinking cokes and eating bon-bons. The perfect solutions for January blahs.
Cleaning out "the closet" had nothing to do with resolutions but everything to do with indignation and, I admit, curiosity.
A son used the closet once as "show-and-tell" in a science class: "The black hole is like our closet; stuff disappears in it and you never see it again." He showed nothing and told everything!
"How about the closet, Mom?" my daughter questioned when I complained of a slight unidentified smell.
"Even paper can stink when closed up for a long while."
Smart aleck kids!
"What's in there, anyway?" my husband asked.
"Stuff. Important stuff," I defended.
"Like what?"
I sort of knew but couldn't be specific.
Determined to have a "show-and-tell" of my own and get to the bottom of it, so to speak, I opened the closet door.
The top and more recent layers were drudgery -- what to throw away, what to keep and how to file it. Mostly, I tossed it in the trash.
Working down, layers became more fascinating. I was reliving the past. With pictures. And were there ever pictures! Some people I didn't know or no longer recognized -- bell bottom pants, bee-hive hairdos, plaid polyester coats, and kids. They could have been us and ours.
The Bible our son received at graduation from kindergarten. The receipt we needed for our taxes in 1992. A sweater two sizes ago. A $50 mail-in rebate for the 8-year-old TV. Someone's wedding present. Unfinished needlework.
That little closet held layers of my family's life.
Never mind why they were there, unorganized. I had known they were worth keeping and put them there until I found the right place. Maybe the closet was the right place.
I'm glad clearing the closet wasn't due to a "resolution." I would've been so intent on arrival,
I'd have missed the trip. And was it ever a trip!
Propped against the closet door I laughed, cried, remembered and rearranged the stacks. The farther down I got, the less I threw away.
Tucked in the middle lay a precious memory, waiting to be resumed. A blue spiral notebook that a friend and I agreed to write in and mail to one another when she moved to Arizona by way of El Paso.
Between us, we had nine kids and a sweet friendship. The notebook would be met with great anticipation when it arrived in my mailbox. I'd hide somewhere, skim over it quickly, then read it slowly, savoring each word.
Life got more complicated. My friend and I lost touch. Our kids are grown, and we both have grandchildren. I wondered if she remembered the notebook. Because I have it, I guess I'm the one who dropped the pen.
Perhaps I'll make a New Year's resolution after all: Don't be so busy tending to the necessary that essentials are ignored. Essentials like relationships.
With the closet half finished, I grabbed a diet Coke, a couple of bon-bons and settled in with the blue notebook to write my friend, Mackey, the one who went to Arizona by way of El Paso.
Will she ever be surprised!
Betty Davis is a freelance writer in Abilene and regular columnist. She is a former Abilene public school board president.

A Visitor.........

This is J's brother, Tim. Grant made cupcakes today and shared them with Uncle T. I think both of them were enjoying their visit. : ) You should have seen T trying to kiss G......he sounds like a girl when he screams!

Have Passport..........Will Travel!!!!!!

Jonathan found out this morning that he qualified for Allstate Workplace's 2008 Western European Luxury Cruise. It has been a two-year qualifying period.......a very long wait!
The cut off time was Dec 31, and he has been checking their website for final postings every day since then. Today......the final tallies were there! He was number 65 and they take the top 100 producers. I am so proud of him and all of his hard work!

The cruise is in June with the ports of call being in England (Dover), Netherlands (Amsterdam), Germany(Hamburg/Berlin), France(LeHavre/Paris), and back to England (Dover). All of the Davis Girls went to Paris in 2000........I was pregnant with Thomas and the Dr. would not let me travel that far!! They all kept saying that we would go again, but never have........until now!
J and I think that we will leave about 4-5 days before the cruise leaves from Dover and spend some time in Paris for our 12th anniversary in June. Cooky and Lady are going to work out the kid details.........THANK YOU to both of them!

I am so excited.........I guess I need to start working out now. : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

Recipe.......

This is a recipe that I received at a wedding shower in Brady---almost 12 years ago! Its one that our family loves and, the best part, its easy! (Notice I did not say healthy!) It is a comfort food!!!
Let me know what you think!

Chicken and Wild Rice Casserole
1/2 c butter
3 stalks celery (diced)
2 onions, chopped
2 cans Cream of Chicken or Cream of Mushroom Soup
2 1/2 cans water
2 7 oz pkg Uncle Bens Wild Rice
1 can sliced mushrooms
2-3 baked chicken breasts, cubed
1/2 lb. Velveets, cubed

Combine all ingredients in crock pot on high for 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours.

Where is my video camera?

As Jonathan and I were having a peaceful lunch today (the kids were already done and wanted to go finish their movie by the time our lunch was ready---so we let them---thus, the 'peaceful lunch'), he mentions all of the birds in the field next to our house. I get up to look and OH MY GOODNESS--there are lots of birds. The black grackels, I think they are called. MILLIONS.
So, I run (well, kind of) to get the camera to take a pic of the millions of birds and go outside.
I took a pic (not that great of one or you would see it here) and J is then outside and says take a video from your camera. I tried-----again, not great or you would see it here. But.............
the funniest part of the whole thing is.............looking out into the field and seeing your 5 year old chasing after the birds with a pool cue that goes to the pool table. He is running and holding up the pool cue like he is a gladiator or something. (He knows better than to go in the field---really, he does.) After dying laughing and with no picture, no video, no nothing of him doing it......we yell for him to come back to the inside (it is 40 degrees out there), watch him climb back over the fence, walk to the house, and back inside. It was all so hilarious----us having a peaceful lunch thinking the ALL the kids are watching their movie, then going to see the birds and seeing Grant running after them with the cue! Oh..............the joys of living in the middle of nowhere!
(With no video camera.....well, not one that I like. hint hint Honey........)

Conversation with Grant

A recap of my conversation with Grant after praying with him before bed last night:

Grant: Mom, do you know what the best part of being a kid is?

Me: What, Grant?

Grant: I will get to live a long time......... Mom, were cartoons in black and white when you were a kid? (*******Did he read the post about me already feeling a little old?*********)

Me: No....there were tvs that only showed up as being black and white, but there was still color tvs, too. We watched the Smurfs, Scooby-Doo, and shows like that.

Grant: What is the Smurfs?

Me: A cartoon about these little blue people.

Grant: Like Blues Clues?

Me: Well, not exactly, but it was a show about how we should work together and get along, despite our differences.

Grant: OK Mom........goodnight. Do you know where my blanket is?

He was done talking! He is a funny boy......

A Myriad of Posts This Morning..........

First of all, the company I work for, which I am not allowed to mention on the internet (silly, I know), sponsored Brian Burns for 2 shows to be presented to the students in grades 3-7 of La Vega ISD in Waco. He does the story of TX History through music and some other songs, like that "I've Been Everywhere", "Pico De Gallo", and others. He is really talented.
Anyway..........he was asking the 4-5 graders who the Father of TX was. The students that knew raised their hands and the response of the first boy he called on was "GOD". WOW, I thought! I hope that my own children have the courage and confidence of the boy who gave that answer. (Wouldn't that boys mama be proud!!!! If only I knew who he was......I would write his mama a letter!) Brian acknowledged his answer as a correct one, just not the one he was looking for in this context----I dont know if he has ever gotten that response from a kid before!

THE GOLDEN COMPASS...........I hope you all got the email that circulated about this movie.
Thomas came home with a Scholastic Book Order form yesterday where the book based on the movie is on the front page! It is even marketed with a Golden Compass necklace if you purchase the book. Of course, that is the one he wanted. More because of the necklace than the book, I think. (He is in to necklaces-----shark tooth ones, gold, silver, he doesnt care!) I went on to explain to this first grader that we will not buy the book for the same reason that we did not see the movie. We will not support someone who is actively trying to teach kids the exact opposite of what we are teaching. It's hard to be 7!

Speaking of age.........I didn't feel "old" until yesterday. As we were driving to a surprise bday party after church last night, Jonathan says, "How old are you going to be this summer? 35, isnt it?!" I almost died. I never thought about it like that-----it just sounded old. I know Pops, Vi, and EE are laughing at me right now. Lets not say 35 out loud.........at least not until I have time to get used to it! (5 months)

Weird Dream..........Monday night I had a dream that my Suburban was sitting in front of J's parents house in Abilene and was the only car in the driveway. (That is weird in itself because there are usually 3-4 cars there even though only 2 people live there!) In my dream, I walk out to the front porch in the dark and there are people stealing the parts off of my car! I start yelling (Funny, because I am not a "yeller") at them that "we worked hard to pay off that car and now we are going to have to buy another one because of you people". I get out my cell phone and call 911 and tell the operator the deal and she says "I am sorry ma'am. The number you are calling me from is not even an Abilene number" and hangs up. Then J's dad drives up in some van with brochures all over it---he sees them taking my parts, tells them to stop, and walks in the house with me standing on the porch!
Thank goodness I woke up from that dream. I dont want to have to buy another Suburban!

That is my randomness for the morning. Love to all! V

NEW LOOK!

Thanks to my cousin, Shelley, my blog has had a face lift! She did it all........I told her the colors I like and she took it from there! Didn't she do a great job??????!!!!!!!!!!

You can link to her blog from mine......hers is cute too.......and even has music!

THANKS AGAIN, Shelley.............LOVE YA!

pics......as promised......take two

sorry about the blur again.......I know it is operator error......I never claimed to be technological.
This is Jill's team on defense! Jill is on the far left.

Thomas and his team. Thomas is on the far right....the only one in white shorts! They were the shorts from his football uniform---he thought they would bring him good luck!!!!

Pink rollers. Anyone remember these? These are a little different than the styrofoam ones. They are long tubes, cushiony in the middle, and flexible. Jill has now slept in these twice.
I was a little afraid of how it would turn out, but..................

I think it looks great!

pics......as promised......take one.

Jill at the skating rink!


Friends........Haley, Emily, Katelyn, Jill (sorry about the blur)

Cousin Hope trying to help Grant stand up!

Thomas with a black eye. This is what happens when your sister wants a skating party and you dont really know how to skate and decide to jump over a bench!
Jill doing the limbo contest.

SO FAR BEHIND!

OK........I am so behind on the blogging, so I will try to catch all of you faithful readers (HA!) up on whats been going on here in the big city!

Lets start with Jan 5. Both Jill and Thomas started basketball. It is like a Little League thing where they are on teams that play once a week. The bad thing......Jill's team plays at 8:00 am every Saturday until the second week of Feb. The good thing.......Thomas's team plays at 10:00 am every Saturday, so we have time to go eat breakfast together on Sat morning. The first week we went to the Ole Czech Bakery, this week we went to Exxon. I know that Exxon does not sound like a great place to eat, but they have a tiny restaurant inside that makes the BEST burritos and BEST hot sauce in town! They also have the XL Diet Cokes I have mentioned before for a mere $1.00. On a side note, Jill's team won-----Thomas's lost. Week 2---Jill's team won----Thomas's lost. (Pops gave me a CD with some video clips of their game on it, but I cannot get it to load here????)

Jan 6........attended a surprise party for my friend, Carla Sykora. She was truly surprised and it was fun. Her Avery is on the same bball team as Jill this year, so we get to visit every Saturday at 8:00 am with coffee in hand!

Jan 8-10.......went to Dallas for an agency meeting. Sitting and listening all day is not my strength.

Night of Jan 10........Thomas comes in our room.....his stomach hurts.......he runs (kind of...it was dark) to his bathroom and throws up on the floor. Sweet husband gets up, grabs the Pine Sol and Lysol and cleans it up while I try to console the patient. He ends up sleeping on the couch and wants me to sleep in the recliner in the living room. I was already feeling guilty about being gone for 3 days, so I agree to "sleep" in the recliner. Not a good idea, but it gave him a little comfort and he finally slept.....with the trash can beside him......thank goodness he had it, because he needed it all through the night! Needless to say he did not go to school the next day, even though he felt fine. His sweet Daddy even took him to see "National Treasure 2".

Jan 12.........more bball............and Jills birthday Skating Party! I cannot believe she is 9. She keeps reminding me that she will be 10 (double digits) next year. OH MY. Anyway, she invited her classmates and others to Skate Country in Waco. She skates well and so do her friends. Her brothers, on the other hand, do NOT! Thomas got his on and came to tell me that they "did not work" and asked if he could change skates. I am laughing on the inside...but let him. He got another pair on, but they did not "work" either! He finally gave up and played video games.
Grant has the same story. Hannah, one of our friends' daughters who is 5, could not figure out why Jill would want to have her party there! She was having a hard time, too! All in all, it was fun! (and easy------they provide paper goods, cupcakes, ice cream, balloons, and a server! All you do is show up! I highly recommend it.)

Later that night, we had a pj/coffee party with our church friends. We had it last year too----the boys watched football, the girls visited. It was enjoyable..........

January 13......shopping after church with Jill. She got $$ and gift cards and could not wait to use them! We went to Target, Richland Mall, Toys R Us, and Wal-Mart. We left the boys at home watching football. Imagine that!
We did make cupcakes for Jill to take to school the next day. She chose carrot cake with cream cheese icing--------a child after my own heart!

January 14......Jills 9th birthday
WOW! Jonathan reminded me that we have now been parents for almost 10 years!
This morning began at 6:35 with Jill coming into our room singing Happy BDay to Me! She set her alarm early, as our usual time is 6:45, but she wanted to get to her presents! We got the boys up and let her open them-----lots of American Girl stuff for her new AG doll, Samantha.
She also loves to paint, so we got her some clear plates to paint that we can use easels to display around the house and office.

Jill is such a sweet girl. She loves her brothers and parents and is a "pleaser". She is smart and funny. She loves Jesus and knows that what the Bible says is the truth. She is now wearing my shoes and some of my tank tops under her clothes. She has started letting me curl her hair and loves Warm Vanilla Sugar stuff from Bath and Bodyworks (thanks again, Cathe, for her xmas present---she loves it and hides it in the bathroom so the boys wont use it!!! smart girl!!)
My eyes are getting watery as I am writing this......I am supposed to be working! : )

She wanted to have her bday dinner at Olive Garden. We did that last night and Pops met us there. We got to sit in the special room and had a good time. The servers sang to her and brought her a little chocolate cake with a candle on it.

I promise I will post all the pics that go with these stories soon. Maybe tonight when I have more time. Love to all........V

Another story from Lady (J's mom)...

This is a copy of an email that Lady sent to me. ENJOY. (sorry I am not going to take the time to take out all of the *** and >>>)

> > * Life is like hot Chocolate>

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, *> *were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit *> *their old university professor, **now retired.> During their visit, the conversation turned to *> *complaints **about stress in their work and lives. *> *Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went *> *into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of*> * hot chocolate and **an assortment of cups - *> *porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking,*> * some expensive, some exquisite telling them to help *> *themselves **to the hot chocolate.> > When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, *> *the professor said: *> *'Notice that all the nice looking expensive cups were *> *taken, **leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. *> *While it is normal for you to want only the best for **yourselves, *> *that is the source of your problems and stress. *> *The cup that you're drinking from adds *> *nothing **to the quality** of the hot chocolate. *> *In most cases it is just more expensive *> *and in some cases even hides what we drink. *> *What all of you really wanted was the hot chocolate, *> *not the cup;** but you consciously went for the best cups... *> *And then you began eyeing each other's cups.> > Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate;*> * your job, money and position in society are the cups. *> *They are just tools to hold and contain life.*> * The cup you have does not define,*> * nor change the quality of life you have. *> *Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, *> *we fail to enjoy** the hot chocolate God has provided us.> > God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. *> *The happiest people don't have the best of everything,*> * they just **make the best of everything that they have.> > Live simply. Love generously.*> * Care deeply. Speak kindly. *

Lysol, anyone?

Poor Thomas, my Sweet Babboo, has the throw up virus. It started last night about 6 pm. We had had a fun day-----we drove through McDonalds for Happy Meals (and put them all in my purse and Jills purse....we were going to the movies and needed some "nourishment"); then went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. They laughed and laughed........even decided which of the chipmunks each was:
Jill----Simon
Thomas---Alvin
Grant---Theodore
I thought their choices were pretty accurate for their personalities. I did not mention this conclusion to them.......: )
After the movie, we came home, played some pool and foosball, played with the puppies, played basketball with Daddy, Thomas shot his BB gun with Daddy, and we came inside.
After a few minutes, Thomas says his stomach hurts. I told him to lie down for a while and be still. He fell asleep on the couch, so I told Jonathan that we probably would not be going to church as he is preparing for his Wed night class. He calls the preacher----problem solved.
Then Thomas is walking to the bathroom.......does not make it.........Jonathan cleans it up so that I do not throw up, too. Poor Thomas has had a hard night and morning, but I am now out of Lysol! not good.
Jonathan is in Waco working (he doesnt feel so hot either) and will be home around lunchtime.
I am not loading everyone up to go to the Dollar Store for Lysol. I just dont think I can do it today-------plus what if Thomas throws up in my Suburban??????????? no.......I am not going yet.....that solves it. When J gets home I will make a Lysol run.
Hope all of you stay well...........

Those Days When People Did "Stuff Like That" by Betty Davis

The following is another one of Lady's stories that was in the Abilene Reporter News. This one is hilarious and is SO something that she would do........read on.........its pretty funny! vanessa

At 4:20 p.m., I'm in the post office line. Its moving, slowly.
You see friends you haven't seen since the last time you were there. Friendships form quickly when everyone is grumbling about the same thing!
My new friend in front of me looked at her watch (4:35 p.m.), mumbling, "I had an appointment at 4:30. I'll be late."
I can help.
I have a new commitment: Be observant and helpful. We don't live on an island (or was that we aren't an island?)
My new commitment started one day in Wal-Mart. A harried mother was shopping; her kids wanting this, wanting that.
If you've been there, you know the scene. If you haven't, count your blessings.
Shopping finished, money paid, a boy saw a toy that was missed. "I don't have cash," said his mother. "I'm not writing another check."
"Let me get that," I offered, giving the clerk $2.
All of us have been on both ends of like situations.
It was what the young clerk said that stuck with me: "That was nice; people don't do things like that anymore."
"I did it today, you do it tomorrow, then people will be doing it again," I said with a smile.
It wasn't profound, but the simplicity caught both of us by surprise. We, the people. I want to be a "people who still do that." It's not a trait that comes naturally. Mostly, I'm thinking about my own stuff.
I'm back at the post office, thinking of how to help my new friend who is about to be late to an appointment.
"Would you like me to mail that for you?" I offered.
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
What was I thinking? Certainly not about current events.
My new friend gives me $5 and her package. My turn comes; the packages are placed on the counter.
The clerk asks, "Does this have liquid, perishable items, etc.?"
"I have no idea! I'm mailing it for the lady ahead of me in line," I reply.
He stepped back and said, "I can't accept this; you don't know whose it is, what's in it."
"But she was in line, had a meeting; I offered to help her out. She stood in line a long time; she's my new friend," I said.
"No way," he says, surprised and likely wondering, "Where has she been the last few years?"
I'm wondering why I didn't just say no!
I ask him to weigh my packages (giving me time to think) and assess the room. My "friend" needed the package mailed today. I can't get back in line. The commotion has alerted the other cashier. The friends might tell. My clerk is weighing faster than I'm thinking.
I've got it!
"You just need to know the package isn't dangerous, right?" I said. "Let's open it and see!"
He stepped back further and threw up his hands.
"OK, do you have scissors or a knife?" I ask.
What was I thinking! In the post office?
Ripping the industrial-strength tape barehanded, I opened the package just enough to get my hand in it. Everyone is watching. Please don't let it be something that will embarrass me.
Well, further embarrass me.
IT WAS ... a box of vitamins. A disappointment, I think.
It's now 5 p.m. Closing time. The clerk, ready to go home, taped up the box to mail. The cost? $5.01 and my dignity.
I miss simpler times. When there were more clerks at the post office counter. And the line moved faster.
When "helping" someone was innocent.

Betty Davis is a freelance writer in Abilene and regular columnist. She is a former Abilene public school board president.

Blessings Abound Even In Time of Grief by Betty Davis

The smells, sounds, and events of the holiday season are anticipated and welcomed by most of us. But for others, they heighten the awareness of loss and emptiness.
Eight years ago, we lost our precious granddaughter. Sweet Maddie was almost 2 -- learning to talk, to tease, discovering the world around her. Then she was gone.
We buried her the day before Thanksgiving. Such shock and sadness we had never known.
The month of December (and far beyond) our family moved through a fog, disconnecting us from the rest of the world.
When love, sharing and gift giving are in the air, the grieving are reminded of their loss each time they take a breath. Grief during holidays can be more acute. Holidays present dilemmas -- how to survive them or how to help a friend.
There is no quick fix for sadness, but there are tangible things we can do -- for ourselves, for others. Actions that help the griever take positive steps toward healing, while remembering and honoring loved ones.
Christmases past can't be re-created. Don't be pressured by yourself or by others. Do what you want; there are no rules.
Decorate or don't. Go somewhere, or don't. Tend to yourself. Take vitamins. Get out some, breathe fresh air, don't be afraid of sharing your sorrow with a friend and don't be afraid of ruining their day.
Fill in the blank, "I feel better when I __." Do it if possible.
Help someone who is hurting. No one understands grief better than another griever; healing comes from helping others. Give a gift in remembrance. Do something that creates a positive memory; the holiday will be different, but there can be soft memories. The more good we have in our lives after the sadness of loss, the better we heal. Grief recovery is hard work and there is no timetable. Joy and hope can be ours again.
A friend can send a card (or a card a week), give movie tickets or gift certificates to eat out. Better yet, take them out. Babysit. Take a meal (soup will do). Give a gift to a charity, or a book to a library or school, in the name of their loved one; it helps to know others remember. Take a basket of goodies. Make a phone call. Tell them something funny and don't be afraid to mention their loved one.
Every expression of love is savored. Our family knows.
God's grace, friends and strangers buoyed us through our sea of sorrow after our granddaughter's death. Their comforts are too numerous to name. One of laughter comes to mind.
After Thanksgiving, our daughter, her husband and their young son left for home to begin their life without their baby. We waved good-bye in the darkness of night, in the darkness of soul.
Arriving home, our daughter called, laughing. Church friends had strung Christmas lights around their country home. They illuminated the darkness of night, the darkness of soul.
Christmas morning, while children played with Santa's bounty, adults quietly talked and cried, sharing experiences of the continual care given to us. We had lost so much but we had been given so much. We knew grief on a new level, awareness of others was on a new level.
The memory of that Christmas is of grace and a small measure of peace.
May "the peace that passes all understanding" reside in our hearts this season.

Betty Davis is a freelance writer in Abilene and regular columnist. She is a former Abilene public school board president.

Articles that I have not posted by Lady (Jonathan's mom)

MEMORIES OF OUR FOSTER BOY............................
With more than a little interest, I read the Oct. 11 article concerning the need for additional foster homes in our area -- remembering and pondering our family's experience.
In November of 1972, we learned of a 5-year-old boy in need of a home. Though neither of us had ever considered becoming foster parents, we knew we would take him, sight unseen.
No child should be without a place to belong, especially at Christmas.
We made the necessary connections through Christian Homes of Abilene to begin the process of filling out forms and passing inspections (a note of assurance: They don't look under the beds.). We joked that there were more requirements for taking someone else's child than having your own!
The agency knew very little of Charlie's background; he was from a distant state, the third of four children. Thankfully, an aunt had notified the authorities of their need.
We gently prepared our children, ages 2, 5, 7 and 10, and waited, with eager anticipation, the arrival of their new brother.
Charlie arrived with a sack of toys and a box of clothes. He was small and walked with an unstable gait, which we would come to recognize.
I bent down and spoke, and he smiled a toothless grin. His teeth were rotted. His huge brown eyes never left my face.
The first night, we learned Charlie wasn't potty trained. Our 5-year-old informed us, with a scream from the bathtub, while bathing with Charlie.
He didn't communicate, but played silently beside -- but not with -- the boys. The girls gently mothered him.
Our family took each day as it came with this strange little creature. It was not what we had envisioned, but we were glad he was there.
Charlie's first word came when I dropped beans on the floor. He rushed over, picked them up and said, "Bean, bean." At last, something familiar.
A month after Charlie arrived, he received a letter from his aunt. I read it to him as he sat still and listened. He took the letter to the front porch swing and sobbed.
He had no words. Nor did I.
That night, he slept with the letter on his pillow.
Christmas was the best ever. We watched our children open their hearts (more lasting than opening presents), learning there is a wealth that surpasses money.
Shortly after Christmas, we learned Charlie had muscular dystrophy, a disease that affects the muscles of the body.
"This cannot be," we said.
But it was.
We saw Charlie's physical health deteriorate as his delightful personality grew and developed. He was stubborn, mischievous and a tease with an infectious laugh. He learned to talk, making up for lost time.
As his body became less mobile, brothers and sisters pulled him in a wagon or pushed him in a wheelchair while embarking on common childhood adventures. Their favorite pastime was to pop wheelies with his wheel chair while he screamed -- in fear or delight!
Nothing could have prepared us for the experience of a little boy named Charlie: the love, the uncertainty, the laughter or the tears. We learned from Charlie to walk slower, look past a wheelchair to the person, not to be afraid, or uncomfortable, with those who are different than us.
We learned not to make assumptions or rely on first impressions. We learned that everyone is the same in the need to be loved.
Charlie died at the age of 23.
We believe he is no longer bound by a weak body and limited vocabulary. His delightful sense of humor must keep the angels chuckling.
That's what his memory does for us.
Betty Davis is a former president of the Abilene school board.