Camp Courage........J's Mom's article

Camp gives kids courage to carry onAttending one's first-ever summer camp can bedownright daunting. Even if you're the oldest persongoing and a counselor.Last June, I climbed onto one of three buses headingto the Butman Methodist Camp, wondering how (and why)I got myself into this. I'd be spending four days with110-plus children, in grades first through 12th, allof whom were dealing with grief because of personallosses.Our family's experience with loss taught me thatchildren grieve deeper and longer than most wouldthink; compelled to help (as many had helped us whenwe were new to the "family of sorrow"), I hadvolunteered.What felt right then didn't feel so right now.But there I was, and unless I feigned illness and leftthe bus, I was in. Turning to the child sitting nextto me, I said, "Hi, what's your name?"Thus began a rewarding experience into the world ofCamp Courage, whose motto is, "I didn't cause it, Ican't fix it, but I can cope with it."Camp Courage is funded by Children's Miracle Network.The top-notch, age-appropriate activities are plannedand executed by Hendrick Hospice Care; counselors aretrained volunteers.My first clue that Hospice knew what they were doingcame when I was paired with Brenda, a capable andexperienced counselor. We were assigned to six teenagegirls from across the Big Country.I wish I could share their stories, but like LasVegas, what happens at Camp Courage stays at CampCourage. Unlike Vegas, we returned home with moretreasures than we took. Equally important, heavybaggage was left behind.Campers are not pressured to tell their stories; itcomes naturally in that setting. Suppressed grief islike attempting to hold a ball under water; it willpop up somewhere. Teaching how to keep it from"popping up" in uncontrolled or destructive ways isone goal of Camp Courage.Our group included athletes, loners and a carhop.Their losses ranged from disappearing dads to deathsof friends and family -- including an infant.Like me, they questioned their attendance, but unlikeme, they hadn't volunteered. Mostly they had beenpersuaded by someone who loved them. After days ofsharing, crying and laughing, they were glad theycame! So was I.We had pet therapy (gorgeous dogs and one cat), yogatherapy, writing therapy, rock therapy, friendship andfun therapy. The best part was that none of it feltlike "therapy."During "roll down the hill" therapy, a snake wasdiscovered. Some kids thought it was "cool." Somedidn't. I was in the latter group.There's no quick fix for grief. Hopefully, through theCamp Courage experience, kids won't be stuck on"high-center," but will continue to travel the roughroad of recovery. Recovery doesn't mean life is "asbefore" because it's not and won't be, but life canstill be good. Even in great sadness, lessons can belearned; we can grow.Each of our beautiful girls left camp stronger, morehopeful; the transformation thanks to time spentlearning the skills of acceptance and coping.Counselors met twice daily to share problems, getadvice, tell stories. My favorite story:Two little first-grade girls were walking past thelarge slice of stone announcing the entrance to theCamp Butman complex. They stopped, pondered.One wondered aloud who was buried there. The otherstudied the wording a bit and replied, "I think it'sMr. Butt-Man."I've signed up to go again; I wouldn't miss it.Please join us.

Camp Courage information: www.hendrickhospice.org Orcontact Nadene 677-8516 by April 14. Hillcrest Churchof Christ Web site: HillcrestOnline.com (click griefministry under "latest news").Betty Davis is a freelance writer in Abilene andregular columnist. She is a former Abilene publicschool board president.